My life, like many of yours, has been filled with great pain, abuses, unfulfilled dreams, and deep sorrow. It was made doubly hard by my faulty beliefs of what God is like.
Jeremiah 29:11 reads, “I know the plans I have for you, plans for good (shalom – Hebrew) and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
As I surveyed my life, and considered the sovereignty of God, I came to the conclusion that He was a monster. Psalm 135:6 reads, “The Lord does whatever He pleases.” It seemed that He had been ‘pleased’ to curse me with immense misery.
I was once asked, “If you believe that God is so horrible, then why do you love Him?” That was a good question.
I responded with: “He’s all there is, and I have to love Him if I’m going to avoid hell.” I’d had plenty of experience with ‘loving’ hateful, hurtful people.
I assumed that God was like them – I could handle one more.
It was then that God began to reveal His true nature to me through a verse in John. Jesus said, “If you’ve seen Me, you’ve seen the Father.”
Wow! I began to pour over the gospels, and to study Jesus. I realized how wrong I was in my beliefs about God the Father. He was tender with the people ‘in the ditch,’ but harsh with the self-righteous, religious people.
I hadn’t expected that.
He showed me His broken heart when I spent days on end in a drunken stupor to anesthetize my pain.
He loved me when I dragged the label “Christian” through the mud in every way imaginable.
He loved me when I slandered Him, and blamed Him for every vile sin committed against me – all while I claimed to be His child.
He loved me when I was bitter, hateful, and vindictive.
For almost five decades, He pursued me, wooed me, and sought to win my heart. His patient persistence finally won out.
Time and again He has shown Himself trustworthy. If I took the entire week it wouldn’t be enough time to enumerate the many ways He’s demonstrated Himself to be His every name as given in the Bible:
Redeemer, Provider, Healer, Defender, the Great I AM, and so much more.
He is everything I need.
He set me free from the bondage of people-pleasing, and has shown me time and again that if I seek to please Him, then others’ opinions are of little consequence.
He loves me – and that is enough.
He has become my best and dearest Friend, Confidante, and Lord. He promised a future that will surpass all my hopes and dreams.
With great expectation, I wonder what I will be doing a million years from today…
…it will be phenomenal!
To know God is to experience Him. To experience Him is to discover a love so vast that it is beyond comprehension. It is a privilege to know with confidence that I can trust His love.
Life may have broken this little pot, but my Father loves me with an indescribable, glorious love! Have you experienced this for yourself? I hope so!
Lessons by Heart 
“To know God is to experience Him. To experience Him is to discover a love so vast that it is beyond comprehension. It is a privilege to know with confidence that I can trust His love.” >> Amen!
I just love what Papa is doing in you, Tami.. Awesome. When the Father reveals Himself to us it changes everything. It’s no more assumptions of what we think He’s like, but now we know! That’s why I love the song, “Good Good Father.” It starts with…
“I’ve heard a thousand stories of what they think you’re like
but I’ve heard the tender whisper of love in the dead of night
You tell me that you’re pleased and that I’m never alone
You’re a Good, Good Father
It’s who you are, it’s who you are, it’s who you are
and I’m loved by you
It’s who I am, it’s who I am, it’s who I am.”
It’s become a theme song of ours. He’s SO good, so loving. He truly makes us feel like we’re living for the first time. Blessings to you.
That’s my theme song this year, as well.
Healing the Gospel arrived yesterday. After the first couple of chapters I said, “I knew it!” To know that He’s been downloading this to me leaves me feeling more loved than ever. 😊
You made me cry reading this. God is so Awesome! Thank you Sister!
Yay, God!!
Yes indeed, I blogged about that a while back myself . . . https://fogwalkerbirdie.wordpress.com/2014/04/14/the-empty-jar/ Thanks for sharing your messages with us . . . blessings!
The Lord works so gently in our lives…always there to love us through the process of our healing. For me, He reveals and peels away layer after layer, and I feel closer and closer to Him.
Prayers and love to you:-)
Bernadette
Light shines best through broken vessels