Of Promises and Poo (or “Messy in the Middle”)

29 12 2014

Diapers: The most appreciated gift any new parent will receive.

Oh, all the pretty little dresses, smart suits, and adorable shoes are loved as well; but without diapers, they will soon be ruined!

Why? Because “poo happens!” It’s unavoidable.

When yes wears a diaper in response to our prayers, we will handle things better if we know this “minor” detail:

We will be messy in the middle!

The sooner we learn to roll with this, the sooner we can trust God and His process. He has a purpose and will finish what He has begun (Philippians 1:6).

The year began with a promise from the Lord. It is Isaiah 43:19. I’ll bet He’s repeated this to me at least a couple dozen times this year. It reads:

Behold, I will do a new thing. Now it shall spring forth; do you not perceive it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

Now THAT’S a promise! I was very excited, believing the “new” thing would “spring forth” from all the music studies of the previous year. Surely beautiful music would soon be forthcoming.

Next thing I knew, we had a houseful of people. There was no possible way I could work on music…or even blog. We had five adults and seven small children here for several months. Days consisted of housework, meal preparation, and child care.

To say that I was confused would be an understatement!

My confusion turned to hurt, as I began to believe that God had pulled a “bait and switch” on me. It felt like He promised me something wonderful then, when my hopes were high, switched it for something ordinary…like when my dad drove us to the gates of Disneyland, then said,”The guys said this is just a glorified fair. We’re going to Knotts Berry Farm.” (In the 1970s, Knotts was more like visiting a film set.)

In the midst of the chaos, God chose to bring transformation to a family member.

Now? Really?

You need to know that when a close family member begins to deal with their “stuff,” it’s like their anchor is being raised with all their junk on it. Because of your relationship with them, all your stuff gets hauled up as well.

That’s when things start to get messy in your middle. You’ll be dealing with your own “poo” – in addition to that of your family member!

You can put a pretty little dress on it, complete with ribbons and bows. Keep up appearances at all cost.

But the “mess” will leak out and be unsightly…no one will understand why you stink!

How thankful I am to be part of a congregation where it’s okay to be a mess; where people are willing to wade in and help clean things up!

It’s been costly, and I’ve had to say “good bye” to pride. I’ve had to reach out for help – including a counselor to help me sort things out.

To my surprise, we’ve talked very little about the current situation. Instead, we’ve mostly dealt with what their stuff was triggering in me…old, unhealed wounds and strongholds.

Having other people living with us was an effective way to keep me from saying things that would only delay, hinder, or halt altogether the work the Lord was doing.

His ways were very wise!

Interestingly enough, a “baby” promise kind of made me become the baby. Helpless, inactive, and in need of a lot of love – these became a reality for me. I cried so much that tears no longer came forth…only goo. We hit the bottom of the well of tears and sludge was all that left. Gross!

Through it all, the Lord kept asking me to sit quietly in His presence. As I stated in my last post, I was certain that a butt-chewing would be involved, so I avoided His presence…only to discover that He was making me into a new person in this process and wanted to get re-acquainted!

Every week from September through just before Christmas, God addressed another stronghold in me and together we tore them down. There have been more than a dozen…ones I’d previously been unaware of. There were countless lies, and an insane amount of forgiving that I had to take care of: others, myself, and even the Lord (who’d done nothing wrong! There were many lies I believed about Him as well.).

Much repentance had to be done, too.

It’s been a lot of work, but worth it.

It wasn’t until yesterday that I gained God’s perspective of what He’s doing. The promise given last January is a “baby promise;” one that I will have to grow up alongside. It’s been messy in the middle, and I may not be ready for my “big girl panties” just yet.

At least now I have hope that they will be forthcoming!

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7 responses

30 12 2014
Kari Anne Dorstad

Glad to see you blogging! God has been cleaning up some huge messes in my life. I can say my messes have been less so these days The Lord gets all the Praise for this! I know from experience that he is faithful to stay by my side no matter what! I love to admire his handy work as he Lovely holds my hand or carries me through Dark paces. God loves to restore the broken.

30 12 2014
Pure Glory

Tami, thank you for your honesty. God has been working on me and urging me to come up higher and grow up. The process is not fun. What he has said to me is he wants to take me much further but his glory would kill me without my growing and maturing. Not an easy process!

30 12 2014
lessonsbyheart

Although I have not commented, I read your posts daily. They have been my mainstay, offering encouragement and strength through this tough season. I so appreciate your insights – they seem to be written specifically for me! I could almost track my journey by using your posts. It’s been amazing.

This “thank you” comes with a boatload of hugs. I’m glad I’ll get to deliver them in person one day!
\o/

30 12 2014
Pure Glory

It is truly amazing how Holy Spirit works, bringing what we need daily. So glad to be a vessel.

Hugs! 🙂

29 12 2014
Heidi Viars

THANK YOU, Tami! I so appreciate you and your honesty. We too are part of a church, where we don’t have to pretend. I am grateful that God indeed does not require our sanitized version, but truly takes us as we are.

30 12 2014
lessonsbyheart

I would have been a much bigger mess without their support! No wonder Jesus wants us to be united!
\o/

29 12 2014
Messenger At The Crossroads

Wow! Thanks. So tremendously right on. I think many of us are going through similar things now. Sort of takes all the spin out of our personal agendas. Blessings to you, Tami!

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