One of the fellows from our home group prayed an excellent prayer this week:
I want it to be the real me talking to the real You, Lord.
It’s easy to be deceived about ourselves and what is going on in our hearts.
Further, we’re quick to believe the worst about God, without ever questioning whether what we believe is true.
Combine the two, and we have a life that is based on lies.
No wonder we build walls between God and us.
The “god” whom we serve is largely one that we’ve pieced together through the filter of our lives: personified by our father-figures (which can include spiritual leaders, teachers, and other authority figures), and what we’ve deduced from both pleasant and painful experiences.
Without a relationship with Him, and a working knowledge of the Bible, these things can leave us with a skewed understanding of the character and nature of God.
From this vantage point, the words of James 1 ring hollow:
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights – Who doesn’t have a dark side. (paraphrase mine)
Really? Then why? Why don’t You fix this mess. Why have You allowed it to go on for so long? Why do You insist that I continue on this path?
This brings about what Henry Blackaby referred to as a “crisis of faith.”
Will I leave the Lord? Will I stay?
(You, of course, realize that God is being blamed for everything. That lets me off the hook. I bear responsibility for neither the problems, nor their solutions.)
One major area for which I am responsible is this:
Speak the truth in love.
When fear dominates a life, this command sounds like “jump to the moon and back.”
The first time we do, though, and we don’t die it feels like we just walked on water!
The Lord is using current issues to reveal more of the lies I’ve believed about Him. He is exposing areas where I absolutely do not trust Him…sad, but true.
I have tons of faith in His ability to make “crooked places straight and rough places smooth” for others; for me? Not so much.
It’s time for this ‘adopted’ child to learn something new about my Father. He is unlike my earthly father-types. Altogether different.
He can always be trusted.
I love His patience as He walks me through my unbelief, strewing my path with evidence of His great love for me, and of His good heart.
I know I shall come forth refined a bit more, able to reflect His light to the world a bit better.
Until that time, I add a hearty “AMEN!” to my friend’s prayer:
I want it to be the real me talking to the real You.
Hey, if you struggle with unbelief as I do, check out the song in “Music for Your Soul” (see the menu at the top of the page). The song is entitled, “Help My Unbelief.” 🙂