How D’Ya Like Me Now?

18 09 2013

It is a common practice to put one’s “best foot forward.” As children we were to exhibit “company manners;” in other words, “pretend to be someone you’re not.”

The unspoken message was this: you’re not good enough.

As a parent, I believed that much of my value rode on my children’s behavior; my parenting skills, my ability to be an asset to society, and the ability of my children to also be valued.

For instance, I was in a store the other day where a child was loudly carrying on, making shopping unpleasant for his mom…and everyone else in the store. He was probably about ten years old…certainly old enough to know better. All around me I could hear women hissing to one another what they would if “if that were my child.”

As I came around the corner, I made eye contact with her and gave her a warm smile. By the comments she made, I learned that the child wasn’t even hers – but a step-child on a “visit” with his dad.

She had been weighed and found wanting – despite the lack of information concerning the circumstances.

Go figure!

Where was I going with this?

I wanted to talk about the need to be real people – not plastic. A hypocrite is an actor, one who pretends to be something he or she is not.

Unfortunately we take this learned behavior into church, afraid of what others would think of them, “if they only knew…”

Probably because if “they” find out – they will gossip.

My life became much simpler when I chose to be honest about who I am (a work in progress – I’m about 60% there). If I tell my Christian friends that I’ve been married four times, I don’t have to worry about them finding out. Same with alcoholism, drugs, promiscuity, adultery; if they know because I told them, it gives a lot less ammo for the enemy to use.

I don’t have to fear that when I’m speaking or leading worship someone will stand up and say, “Everyone needs to know this about Tami…” and be rejected because of my past.

I make the worst known (within reason…some things should never be aired publicly) , then ask,

“How d’ya like me now?”

If anyone sticks around, well, it’s all good. Those who would judge me leave, and I’m left with the audience the Lord intended all along!

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28 responses

20 09 2013
Eddy

I remember the stories my mom used to tell me about the tantrums I through in the middle of the toy section of almost every store.

Of course, I am older and somewhat wiser now. I only throw a tantrum when I check my bank account :p

20 09 2013
lessonsbyheart

Too funny! 🙂

\o/

18 09 2013
Toni Sprandel

OMG,again! You make me belly laugh more than anyone I know! How’d ya like me now? I love you dear sister!!! I have soooooo missed your blogs!! Praise the LORD for you and your honesty! 🙂

18 09 2013
lessonsbyheart

Hiya, sweet sis! How are things going on your bit of real estate? It’s a little crazy here. The woman I care for is probably enduring her last days here on earth. What an honor to minister to this lovely saint.

Your comments are a hoot! 😉

\o/

18 09 2013
melwild

I think I like you a lot. 🙂 And I think I’ve poked way too many people’s eyes out with that big log sticking out of mine. I’ve also found that criticism is not a gift of the Spirit. Discernment is not the gift of suspicion. Anyway, thanks for a great post. And, btw, thanks for re-blogging my post last week. You are a Blessing.

18 09 2013
lessonsbyheart

You’re most welcome for the reblog. It was fantastic…a reminder that I needed myself.

I’m the queen of beating others to bits with my log while I tried to remove their speck. Hopefully I’ll outgrow that some day soon (I have gotten better!).

Thanks for the comment. 🙂

\o/

18 09 2013
tinabrenee

Yes, I’ve found the truth to be quite disarming! Opening yourself up to others will either repel or draw them closer – either of which will work in our favor!

18 09 2013
lessonsbyheart

Tis true! 🙂

\o/

18 09 2013
vonhonnauldt

Great blog. Believers are all just forgiven “lumps of dirt.” But, then, you know the old saying, “The only exercise some people get is jumping to conclusions.” 🙂

18 09 2013
lessonsbyheart

I’d never heard that saying – LOVE IT!

May the Lord’s face shine brightly upon you today!

\o/

18 09 2013
Mary C Wilson Andrews

As always, you provide me with deeper insight, reflections into my own heart of hearts and the joy of knowing that we are sisters in Christ. We are both “Broken but loved” and I am definitely sticking around! Love, hugs and blessings, Mary

18 09 2013
lessonsbyheart

Yay! I have yet to meet someone who didn’t have *something* in their past that they’d rather keep to themselves. We miss out on many opportunities to connect to others when we won’t let them glimpse the broken places within us, don’t we?

Have a blessed day, dear sister!

18 09 2013
Mary C Wilson Andrews

I have the same philosophy…I am pretty much an “Open Book” and really just am matter of fact about my past instead of worrying about what others think or say about me…happens when we realize that we are all so flawed, but still forgiven!

I know I just started teaching the “Single Parenting” class on Sunday night in addition to the teaching the Women’s class in the morning…why did I volunteer to teach the Single Parenting class? No one stepped up and I’ve been there done that! Also, who better to teach than someone who has been divorced and is remarried, blending a family…Funny thing is, I am teaching, but more of a student as I learn with them…God uses it all, if we just open up and release it to glorify Him.

Everyone is hurting! Everyone has wounds! Everyone can find that common ground and you are willing to reach out and that makes His heart smile (mine, too)!

18 09 2013
lessonsbyheart

Wow! It’s great when we finally realize that things are what they are, and no amount of posturing can change one iota of what’s done.

Way to go with the parenting class. No doubt God’s given you a great deal of wisdom to share with those who are now “wearing your shoes!” May the Lord bless your labor with much fruit and a great harvest. 🙂

\o/

18 09 2013
Mary C Wilson Andrews

That is my prayer!

18 09 2013
the warrioress

You’re speaking to me too… so glad I’m not alone in attempts to overcome a past where I was not raised anywhere even close to being “Christian.”

18 09 2013
lessonsbyheart

Sadly, I called myself a Christian – while behaving like anything but one. God’s mercy overwhelms me when I think of the things I did, all the while proudly telling everyone that I was His child. I’d have squished me, just to have the blot removed from my reputation, if I were “god!”

I love the verse that states that there is now therefore NO condemnation. Why? Because if any [wo]man is in Christ, she is a NEW creation – the old is GONE, the new is come. That’s the best news ever, isn’t it?

\o/

18 09 2013
Elaine

Great post!!

18 09 2013
lessonsbyheart

Thanks!
\o/

18 09 2013
Steven Sawyer

Tami, This is amazing. I think we have partially similar testimonies. I’m in the process of writing a version of my testimony that I’m going to share with Kerri Bishop Reece on her blog, Kerri Chronicles next week. I’ll send you a copy when I’m through writing it (today or tomorrow). Then I think our testimonies would make good skype conversation again. This is a wonderful, candid post that I can certainly relate to on several levels. And I’ll certainly “stick around” with you. This post will also complement a post I am researching now as well, so I may want to ask you if I can re-post this when I finish my piece on comparing ourselves to others. You do a beautiful job of making one of my major points in my post. Thank you, Tami, and may God richly bless you today, my friend.

18 09 2013
lessonsbyheart

Thanks, Steven. You’re always welcome to reblog.

I’d love to read your article – and then Skype. I’m currently working in the mornings. I don’t think the position will last much longer – my “employer” is dying (I provide end-of-life care for her)…more like a chaplain for her and her daughter, with some personal care thrown in. It’s a day-by-day thing, with some days being better than others. Yesterday we didn’t even get her out of bed, her breathing was so labored.

The good news is that she will be seeing Jesus soon, and I shall see her again in the sweet by and by!

\o/

18 09 2013
Steven Sawyer

I’ll try to finish it by tomorrow then send it to you. Maybe we can Skype Thursday afternoon late ?

18 09 2013
lessonsbyheart

Thursday afternoon will work – it would need to be after 2/p PST. Will that work?

\o/

18 09 2013
Steven Sawyer

That’s 6 Eastern and I have a meeting at 6:30. How about 6 or 6:30 your time? That’s 10 or 10:30 my time. That would work for me. What about you?

18 09 2013
lessonsbyheart

That will be fine.

(PS – I’m beginning to think that you live on skype! No matter what time of the day or night, a notification pops up to say that you’re online. Do you ever sleep?) 😉

\o/

18 09 2013
Steven Sawyer

I don’t really. Skype keeps me on there. I mark myself as available, then forget to mark it away. I keep up with cousins in Indiana and an old school friend in Bay Minette, Alabama and another blogger in Alabama and England. Those are my regulars. Yes, I do sleep, in fact I’m taking a power nap as I write this to you (figure that out). I should be home from a meeting around 9:40 or 10 tomorrow night so we can hook up on Skype then. Looking forward to it. Take care and have a blessed day.

18 09 2013
Mustard Seed

Thank you, thank you, thank you… you are speaking straight to me where I am right now… a month ago I wrote of my fear regarding the local church body I had just became a member of; “If they knew the ‘truth’ about you, they would not be so friendly and accepting…” and I am still struggling with this…

I am encouraged by your “solution” and especially your last paragraph… now to summon the courage to put it into practice.

Shalom ~

18 09 2013
lessonsbyheart

May the Lord grant you success in your endeavor, for the freedom you will enjoy is immense! Meditate on Galatians 1:10. It helps me remember who I need to please and impress…and it certainly isn’t other lumps of dirt!

God bless you as you grow in this area.

\o/

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