How Can You Say You Understand??

15 08 2013

I drove down the freeway, the intense anger a cover-up for deep pain. I began to talk to the Lord about the situation.

Well, actually, I yelled, and pounded on my steering wheel.

“HOW CAN YOU SAY YOU KNOW WHAT I’M FEELING? HOW CAN YOU SAY YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO HAVE AN UNFAITHFUL SPOUSE? YOU NEVER EVEN DATED ANYONE???”

I felt sort of “ripped off”. It didn’t seem fair that Jesus didn’t have to go through he headaches and heartaches of marriage. How could He possibly understand what it’s like to be married?

In the midst of my angry outburst, He spoke, His voice soft and gentle:

Tami, who is my bride?”

Stunned, I thought for a moment, then said, “The church.”

Yes. Where is she, and what is she doing?”

Oh!

I began to consider His point.

Jesus claimed the church – us believers – for His bride, His own. That makes us His fiance; and what a fiance we are…hateful, deceitful, quarrelsome – more interested in His rival and his trinkets than in our Beloved – all the while claiming to dearly love Jesus.

Looked at from this perspective, I realize that Jesus understands far more than I ever imagined:

He knows the silence of neglect.

He “gets” being misunderstood.

He’s been on the receiving end of harsh words and accusations.

He knows the heartache of being involved with someone who wants the title, “Married,” but doesn’t want to quit “playing the field.”

He’s felt the pain of an unfaithful lover. He knows what it’s like to lose her to an unworthy rival.

He’s dealt with the addictions of His bride – and all the pain that accompanies these problems.

He understands “date night.” That’s about all He gets from her…an hour and a half on Sunday; a watched clock to ensure that He doesn’t take up too much time.

If He’s lucky, she might show up again for an hour or so on Wednesday. The rest of the week, she often lives as if He didn’t exist. “My life is none of Your business,” He’s frequently told.

He’s felt the searing pain of abandonment. The grief of having His lover walk away and lay in the arms of another.

Listen to this:

“But you have not called upon Me, O Jacob;

And you have been weary of Me, O Israel.

You have not brought Me the sheep for your burnt offerings,

Nor have you honored Me with your sacrifices.

I have not caused you to serve with grain offerings,

Nor wearied you with incense.

You have bought Me no sweet cane with money,

Nor have you satisfied Me with the fat of your sacrifices;

But you have burdened Me with your sins,

You have wearied Me with your iniquities.Β 

Isaiah 43:22

Oh yeah, He certainly can empathize with all facets of a lousy marriage.

And yet…

He loves us and is eagerly awaiting our union.

That floors me.

He is encouraging us even now, during the final days of our courtship to commit ourselves completely to Him. His desire is that we wean ourselves away from catering to, flirting with, and serving His enemy – Satan.

Praise His name that He has not simply commanded us to do this, but is willing to walk through the process step by step. Through the power of His Presence, we are able to become victors.

As we experience His patience and forgiveness, we come to love Him at a greater depth. When we begin to sense His deep, abiding love for us, His faithfulness to us no matter what, our eyes are opened a bit more to the wonders of being cherished.

Oh, Lord, open our eyes that we may see and comprehend what is the width and length and depth and height – to know Β the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that we may be filled with all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:18-19 NKJV)

Jesus owns a “Been There, Done That Still Doing That” T-shirt.

He “gets” it.

Let Him comfort you as you work through the issues of this holy and sacred covenant relationship.

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48 responses

31 08 2013
olgatodd

Thank you for stopping by! I look forward to reading your blog as well πŸ™‚

28 08 2013
truthofgods

How have you been sister?

28 08 2013
lessonsbyheart

Hello! It is well with my soul, thanks for asking! And you?

\o/

28 08 2013
truthofgods

I am blessed..I broke my nose and have a fractured rib..

29 08 2013
lessonsbyheart

Oh dear. Blessed? Love your perspective on the situation. πŸ™‚

Continuing to ask for peace and strength for you from Abba.

\o/

19 08 2013
Heather Mertens @ 40YearWanderer

He gets “Date Night”. Sadly He does. How true Tami, how “right up to the very minute” true that is my friend.

19 08 2013
lessonsbyheart

Sadly, I know what you mean.

\o/

17 08 2013
Mary

Oh, how He loves us! \ o / \ o / \ o /

17 08 2013
lessonsbyheart

πŸ™‚ Amen!
\o/

16 08 2013
Heidi Viars

thanks so much, Tami, for this … He truly can relate to all of our “stuff” … what a God … Thanks for continuing to remind us to keep asking Him … He knows, He sees, He cares!

16 08 2013
lessonsbyheart

…and He loves us so much!

\o/

16 08 2013
findingmyinnercourage

This brought me to tears also. This broke me into tears. You echo pain in my life. Your candidness is a blessing. Thank you!

16 08 2013
lessonsbyheart

How I long for the day when there is no more pain of any sort – no sorrow, no guilt, no sin. Maranatha…today works for me!

My father-in-law passed away this morning. We took a mad dash to see him last night. I’m sick of the Valley of the Shadow…and not done with business there yet. The fellow who gave me my guitar is making his way through as well. He’s the closest thing I’ve ever had to a dad. How I will miss him. 😦

\o/

16 08 2013
journeyofjoy

Uhmmmm… No words can express my heart about this. So good Tami! Very well expressed. Jesus does truly get it! More than we will ever know. Not with one spouse either–he has SO many wayward “sons and daughters” to deal with. So well said and deeply penetrating. Thank you!

16 08 2013
lessonsbyheart

Jesus teaches me so much about my relationship with Him through mine with my spouse(s) and children. They provide many object lessons!

Thanks for your comment.

\o/

16 08 2013
journeyofjoy

Amen! I know just what you mean. Becoming a parent was one of the best thing that ever happened to me — because it brought me the same! You are a blessing! And a light. Thank you…

16 08 2013
Skye

Brilliant…………as always, Dear Friend!

16 08 2013
lessonsbyheart

I’m always amazed when the Lord chooses to answer me in the midst of a temper tantrum. I never expected Him to answer – and with such a revelation to boot. Isn’t He good to us?

\o/

16 08 2013
kingintraining

As I was reading your outburst, I was saying in my head “yes, Tami’s right…” and then as soon as I read “and what are they doing?” I said “oh” the same time as you! LOL! Sobering! wow!

16 08 2013
lessonsbyheart

I was sure I had Him on this one. Jesus had no “love life” while He lived on earth…or so I (mistakenly) believed.

He is so good to answer us when we cry out to – or even at – Him. That flabbergasts me!

\o/

15 08 2013
thoroughbred24

so true – I love the way the lord so grace-fully points out to us he knows ALL about us – we are never alone – great post

16 08 2013
lessonsbyheart

Thanks for stopping by – and for taking the time to comment.

His grace amazes me, that’s for sure!

\o/

15 08 2013
Lyn

Excellent! I think this is my favorite post of yours, it gets right to the point and comforts with truth. Thank you!

Lyn

16 08 2013
lessonsbyheart

Thanks, Lyn. It’s one of my favorites, too!

Isn’t Jesus wonderful?

\o/

15 08 2013
optimisticgladness

This post is so beautiful and honest. I love how God speaks to us. It pierces us with light and truth. We carry those words He said to us like a precious jewel. That was a new thing to me….us, the church being his fiance. Thank you for sharing your story and your heart. He is a jealous God and I am glad that He is. We know we are loved so much that He wants to spend time with us. What a great post. Thank you again!

16 08 2013
lessonsbyheart

This insight from the Lord greatly changed my relationship with Him. When I realized that I was causing Jesus the same pain that this ex-husband of mine was causing me, things changed…I was changed…but that’s what He does best if we let Him! πŸ™‚

Thank you for your thoughtful response.

\o/
Praising Jesus for His unending love!

15 08 2013
tinabrenee

With God, all things are possible. His arm is not too short, he does not sleep, I pray that every word of truth and encouragement that you have so unselfishly doled out returns to minister to you during this period of trial and tribulation. I pray that truth is revealed, that hearts are open to what the Lord has to say and what He wants to do through this, that things that are not of Him would be severed (never again to re-attach), that humility governs every decision, that doors will be closed and others opened, that the root will be revealed and uprooted, that tremendous healing and forgiveness would be released (a miraculous testament to His power), that weapons that have been formed against your family will not prosper, that the truth would bring absolute freedom and recovery, that the mouths of nay-sayers will be hushed and that your family would surround themselves with true believers who love Christ and who love your family and that their words would be as a healing balm. I am definitely going to commit prayer to your situation and although I am grieved, I know that all things work together for your good and that what is meant for evil is going to backfire as long as you commit this to Him and follow His direction. This is way too big for your flesh to handle with any wisdom… God bless you and your family.

16 08 2013
lessonsbyheart

This particular incidence *was* way too big for my flesh to handle. Fortunately this involved a different hubby some 20 or 25 years ago!

However, everything you prayed is spot-on for the issues at hand. Thank you for your prophetic word and prayer – to which I’m saying “amen and amen.”

(I think I’m going to print it and keep it nearby. We actually have several situations at the moment. One was resolved yesterday, one will be in six days, the other…well, we’ll see what the Lord is up to. ;))

Thanks so much for giving such a thoughtful reply. I truly appreciate that you took the time.

\o/

16 08 2013
tinabrenee

Trust me – you probably woud not even believe how much your posts have helped me through rough patches. I knew the Spirit was flowing through me in my comment yesterday, as I had no information with which I could’ve even begun to concoct anything meaningful. God is good – STAND!

15 08 2013
dianarasmussen

Reblogged this on Prayers and Promises and commented:
What an eye opener, thank you so much Tami, God is using you in amazing ways!

16 08 2013
lessonsbyheart

{thanks!}

15 08 2013
Tahlitha

Thank you, this was a blessing to read. When we grow to know His faithfulness we can see our lack and our need in our own marriages, to make Jesus the source and not the fall back guy.

Thank you again, a blessing indeed.

15 08 2013
lessonsbyheart

Jesus is the only Source that has never failed me. I so delight in His faithfulness. πŸ™‚

\o/

15 08 2013
shadeakinbiyi

Oh Lord…..hmmm. This is deep, thanks for been sincere and open. You have painted the picture for me so clearly. BLESS YOU.

15 08 2013
lessonsbyheart

I certainly didn’t expect to be shown wrong on this point. I was pretty sure I had Him cornered. Ah me!

\o/

15 08 2013
GetWithTheProgramPpl

This broke me into tears. Every time you write something it resonates with my painful life. This particular piece is basically me and the father of my baby. I ask God every day. If I am washed in his blood then why has He allowed His faithful daughter to feel so much pain. Everything that’s happening is like payback from karma. And yet karma doesn’t exist for us children of Christ.

Thanks for sharing. One of those days when it all gets too much to simply laugh it away. God bless

15 08 2013
lessonsbyheart

You know, every time I’ve gone to the Lord with a “How can you say” question, He’s shown me. Every Single Time.

He understands, sweet sister, and believe me when I say He is heartbroken over your circumstances. For reasons we don’t really understand, He’s humbled Himself and submits to the human will…never forcing Himself on anyone good or evil.

He made the rainbow the symbol of His covenant to stay His hand from drowning the lot of us because at least one rainbow appears somewhere on our planet every day. I’m sure He needs that reminder.

Don’t ever let the enemy tell you that you’re being punished. Jesus took all of our punishment on the cross. We may reap consequences (I know I will for the rest of this life due to some of my choices :(), but that has nothing to do with punishment. Ever.

Love you!
\o/
Peace and love from our Lord Jesus Christ!

16 08 2013
GetWithTheProgramPpl

Well He isn’t showing me anything. Or maybe I’m too lost in my disappointment to notice. I am asking constantly. Thanks sis…love you.x

16 08 2013
lessonsbyheart

Not that this is a “three step” sure fire method, but pick some Psalms to read out loud to the Lord. Personalize them, too. Like Psalm 13 – a fantastic one if you’re feeling forgotten.

One question I ask myself is this: “Would I be willing to accept whatever He told me?” Sometimes I’m not “hearing” because I’m not receptive to His voice if He is going to tell me something I don’t want to hear. If I’m not hearing, either unconfessed sin or demanding that He do things my way is usually the cause.

Love you!

\o/

15 08 2013
I HAVE A VOICE

What a comfort to know that Jesus comprehends what we oftentimes can’t understand !

15 08 2013
lessonsbyheart

So true!

\o/

15 08 2013
vonhonnauldt

Oh!

15 08 2013
lessonsbyheart

Funny – that was my response! πŸ™‚

\o/

15 08 2013
Bina

Reblogged this on Bina's Pad and commented:
In an effort to be fully honest, this morning…as I reached up for His hand from where I had lost sight of absolute truth, He was very honest with me about where my heart had been hiding after I looked away from Him.

I had to deal with that conversation as He carried me back to the boat…but had to “deal with it” in a way that broke my heart as I realized how I had broken His because I had not trusted Him to be my everything.

I had forgotten that my love for Him is shown thru obedience…not thru sacrifice or offerings, but just plain obedience (Jeremiah 7:22-23)…and when I get so wrapped up in what I am doing for or giving to the Lord, I am losing sight of the fact that I am called simply to obey…because I love Him…and nothing more.

So I posted what I did about sinking in the waves…but as I read this post this morning, I realized that I needed to confront the truth too:
I have cheated on my First Love…over and over…and that hurts my heart MORE than the fact that I sank in some water.

I am so thankful for His love…grace…and mercy…that tenderly lifts this sinner up into arms she doesn’t deserve so she can be carried to a boat that keeps her safe.

What a might God we serve!!
Bina

16 08 2013
lessonsbyheart

Wow! That was intense. Thanks for sharing, Bina.
((((((Hugs))))))
\o/

16 08 2013
lessonsbyheart

(I just noticed that your comment was a two-part one. I missed this earlier. Wow. Just Wow.)

15 08 2013
Bina

Girl, you have me in tears.

THIS was my conversation with God this morning when He pointed out where I was “cheating” on Him and I was overcome with the pain that I had inflicted. Wow – I am so moved by this post…know that God used you today. πŸ™‚

15 08 2013
lessonsbyheart

πŸ™‚

\o/

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