Out Of The Dark And Into The Light

26 07 2013

Jesus is the most patient, gentle healer ever. He knows how much we can take at one time, and moves slowly. The episodes of the previous blog took place over the space of a couple of years.

Bit by bit, as I was able to handle it, “Mini-Me” began to divulge sordid bits of my history that “she” had kept to herself.

Finally, the day came when it was time for “her” to tell all she knew. Because Jesus had already healed many of my memories, I was strong enough and He let the truth be known.

Considering the grossness of the sins committed against me, the pain was not gut-wrenching this time. Rather, it was a calm acknowledgement of what had been done to me. For the first time, I admitted what I’d known deep down all along.

Jesus came like a gentle breeze, and showed me that He had been between me and my abuser. Everything done to me was done through Him. I was completely undone. It was bad enough that these things were done to a child…

…but for my Jesus to have been there, suffering with me…He who was perfect, innocent, pure, and holy; this broke my heart.

He knew what abuse was like. He’d been stripped bare as He stood awaiting His execution. The trauma of what He experienced caused His bowels and bladder to let loose, too.

“Mini-Me” divulged her dark secrets. What had seemed so huge in the dark…

…was exposed as merely a bit of dirt once it was brought into the light.

Her work was completed, and there was no need for her to remain any longer.

One Sunday morning while I was singing with the worship team, a vision of Jesus came to me. He took “Babycakes” by the hand. I saw her little face aglow with anticipation. She waved good-bye to me and the two of them turned and walked out the double doors at the back of the sanctuary.

Weird as it may sound, sometimes I miss her. Gone are the days when “we” did things together.

His truth, spoken into that memory changed everything:

The fog I lived in for years was gone.

The sense of being with – yet not part of – a group of people…including my children is gone. I can be fully engaged with them. My kids have noticed the difference.

The shame I carried for the shameless people who abused me is gone. I refuse to “own” it anymore. I’ve released the shame and given it back to those to whom the shame belongs.

That deep dread of being “found out is history.”

My death wish is gone.

The desperate need to be in control of everything and everyone around me has vanished.

Today I live with a sense of peace, serenity, freedom, and maturity that I never thought possible.

I enjoy “life to the full” as Jesus promised.

Oh, the Lord is good!

There is only one reason why I would take a risk and post such a personal story. It is this:

I’ve read your blogs. I see your struggles, you write about your various therapies that are only giving “tolerable” relief.

This also breaks my heart, for

Jesus said, “Whom the Son sets free is free indeed.” If you are not free, you need to know:

there is more…

…so much more being offered to you by

the Lord our Healer.


Yes! I’m speaking to YOU!

Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted – victims of abuse…


To set captives free – ones who’ve built walls to keep others out and now realize you’ve built your own prison…


To set at liberty those who are in bondage to bitterness, hatred, resentment, and unforgiveness; to seeing yourself as a victim…


He will transform you…

…by renewing your mind.

Ask, and keep asking.

Seek, and keep seeking.

Knock, and the door will be opened.

Jesus wants this for you, but will not force Himself – or healing – on you. Instead, He asks…

“…Do you want to be made whole?”

Today He beckons you to come out of the dark…

…and into His glorious light!


This is a long post. Rather than make it longer, tomorrow I will give a post that gives some resources for finding the freedom that Jesus offers. In the meantime, if you have any questions, you can e-mail me at batransformed1@yahoo.com. I’ll be happy to respond as quick as I can.

For the intro to this story, read “God Blew Up My Box.

For the first half of my story, read “Mini-Me and Me.”

How can I tell you about how I was healed – without showing you how you can too? Check this out: Freedom Resources.”

May the Lord richly bless you as you reach out to Him for the inner healing He promised.

Love in Christ,



Praising Jesus because HE IS ABLE!




25 responses

8 01 2014

I love these posts, they speak volumes about our Jesus. I am aware of the words you said:” Jesus took “babycakes” by the hand and they walked away.” I have had quite a few people tell me they see our Lord taking their alter by the hand and walking out. Thus experiencing an awesome healing. Glory to God!

8 01 2014

His ways are so precious, His healing so thorough. I would never have made it thus far without His unfailing presence. Mmm. How I love Him!

Thanks for stopping by. It’s always nice to see a new…er…face! 🙂

Praising Jesus who makes all things new!

31 07 2013
Robin Claire

Hi Tami,
How much you reveal about yourself and all your struggles, is so refreshing – so honest it’s refreshing. You offer a window to your soul for others to peek through – and identify with in their own lives. I’m speaking about myself.
Love you my dear sister in recovery. It seems to me that we are walking so much – the same path.

1 08 2013

If sharing my personal hell leads anyone at all the the Light and healing of Jesus, then it is worth it. I’ve discovered that this is one of the ways that God makes all our “stuff” work together for good.

Being able to reach out to others makes it all worth while in a weird sort of way! How else can we connect with the hurting, if we ourselves haven’t first walked the path they’re on?

Besides, Revelation 12 tells us that we overcome the enemy “by the word of our testimony” and the blood of the Lamb. I’m all about kicking demon’s butts whenever I have the opportunity!

Have a blessed day, sweet songbird!


29 07 2013
Valerie Rutledge

I fell behind on reading my blogs last week so I’m just now getting to this “part 2″…unbelievable. God is so ridiculously awesome and your testimony is proof of that. If you can endure such traumatic experiences and come out WHOLE on the other side, how could you not know there is God who loves you with a never-ending, unfailing kind of love. I am so thankful for your love of others and of God that compels you to share what so many others feel ashamed of. You rock, sister!

29 07 2013

If He did this for me, He will do this for anyone!!! I love how you put it, “ridiculously awesome!” That’s our Father. 🙂


28 07 2013
Gail Lijauco

Just dropped by to say that your post is very inspiring. God is really the only One who can heal us from our past and we can experience true freedom through Him alone. God bless you Tami! 🙂

28 07 2013

Yes. It is God and Him alone.

May you enjoy the grace and peace of our Lord today. 🙂


27 07 2013
Kari Anne Dorstad

Thank you for sharing how you were healed;

27 07 2013

You’re welcome. Just hoping to offer hope to those who have none. 🙂


27 07 2013

Thank you for sharing your story and pointing to our wonderful Savior, Healer, Friend, Light and Life, our All in All! Dee

27 07 2013

He is all you’ve said and so much more! I want others to know Him in this way as well! You’re welcome. 🙂


27 07 2013
Prodigal Chick

What a blessing you are to the hurting and wounded souls. God is faithful and just if we will allow him to “blow up our box”. Thank you for sharing your heart and journey with us giving others hope and a path to real and pure healing. I love reading your posts and am lifted up with the way you show the tender loving mercies of Jesus. He is and does all that you write to us, your readers. He takes us by the hand and gives us the time and space we need to let go of our hurts and pain. You relay this so lovingly and clearly that the hurting and broken hearts can open up and receive his love and peace. I just thank you today on behalf of all the broken hearts. Blessings to you and yours.

27 07 2013

Linda, I’m so glad to know that it’s Jesus I’m making known. He is the only One who can truly change us and heal our hurts. He truly is YHWH Rapha – the God who heals!


27 07 2013
Prodigal Chick

Yes he is!!! The wonderful blessing of your blog is that we do see Jesus our lord in his pure and magnificent way through you. As I read your posts I see god, his love, his kindness and his compassion and my heart is so full of love and respect for you because you put him first and make way for him to shine, love and heal through you. It blesses me incredibly and completely!!!!

27 07 2013

Okay, I’m hunting down the Kleenex box now.

I sincerely thank Him for all He’s done. Without the life I’ve had, I wouldn’t have the ministry I do. Talk about “working all things to good!” 🙂


26 07 2013
Toni Sprandel

I stand in awe of what the LORD has done in, and through you! You my dear sweet sister are such an inspiration. May the LORD continue to use you for His glory, because the LORD is being glorified by every post you write!

26 07 2013

I’m so glad He is, Toni. My life used to be about me, but I don’t have the power to save anyone. Only Jesus does.

Thanks for your sweet support!


26 07 2013

I absolutely love this. It brought a lump in my throat too!

26 07 2013

Me too! I felt deeply honored by the Lord to receive His personal care in this way. 🙂


26 07 2013
Out Of The Dark And Into The Light | Lessons by Heart | Worship Leaders

[…] From Google Blogs Search- Worship Team […]

26 07 2013

Having counseled abuse victims I can say your story is so similar to what I was honoured to experience before, and that is good. It is that similarity that confirms all the hope you write about. Here is a case where someone says, “Been there, done that” looks like a rainbow of great beauty after a terrible storm. I applaud you for sharing the whole story. It can happen!

26 07 2013

Thank you for your comments. It’s an honor to participate in Jesus’ work, as well as an honor to be the object of that work. I’ve had the joy of doing both!

Being healed by Jesus is exactly like a rainbow of great beauty after a terrible storm! What a perfect description!

Grace and peace to you. 🙂

26 07 2013

Oh, that vision! Brought a lump to my throat!

26 07 2013
Steve Austin

I absolutely love this, my friend!

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free; no longer to be subject to a yoke a slavery! So we’re rejoicing in God’s liberty: our hearts responding to His love!”

Our stories have some strong similarities. If you ever want to read my story, here it is: http://graceismessy.com/2011/08/30/steve-austin-molested-addicted-forgiven/


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