Get Your Finger Out of My Nose!

13 07 2013

“Bandit is a cute critter,” I was assured.

“He’s tame as can be,” I was told.

“The kids will love him. It will be good for them to learn responsibility.”

I had strong reservations against this addition. Everything within me said it was a bad idea, but after being pressured, harangued, and harped at for a couple of weeks, I started to feel a little foolish. Having this pet began to seem like lots of fun. The kids would enjoy him, and he would certainly be a conversation piece when we had company.

Plans for a suitable enclosure were drawn up, materials obtained for its construction.

The day arrived when I would have my first hands-on experience with the fellow. I was almost as enthusiastic as my (ex)husband. We drove to where Bandit was kept. After a few minutes of visiting with Roger, his owner, we headed out to the yard, full of excitement.

I don’t know if you’ve ever had the pleasure of handling a raccoon.

I did.

It’s an experience I never want to have again as long as I live!

Roger entered Bandit’s enclosure and coaxed him out of his lair. He was about as big as a very large cat. Roger bribed the animal to get onto his shoulder with a piece of fruit, then stepped out of the cage and walked toward us.

The little guy had very inquisitive eyes that took in everything. He was cute and cuddly. I couldn’t wait to get him into my arms.

At last the moment arrived. This would be my first opportunity to hold a raccoon, and I was eager to get acquainted with Bandit.

His handler picked him up around his middle and settled him on my shoulders.

That’s when the fun came to an abrupt halt!

Bandit became all hands – more like an octopus.

At first he was content to rumple my hair. That lasted about 30 seconds. Then he spotted my ears and began trying to probe them with his tiny fingers. No matter how I tried to distract him, he would not leave them alone. I was getting nervous, and he was becoming frustrated.

Once the raccoon realized that I was not going to let him dig my brain out through my ear, he began looking over the other orifices of my face. He couldn’t get his fingers into my mouth, so instead he aimed for my nose.

It went: nose, mouth, ear, mouth, ear, nose, ear, mouth…one side and then the other, now with both hands and with very rapid movements.

He began to become very agitated, and moved from shoulder to shoulder, thrusting his little hands at my face – all the while he chittered and scolded me, his sharp white teeth bared. Sometimes he reached over the top of my head, hands still darting in and out. I was scared out of my wits!

Meanwhile, Roger and my (ex)husband stood by, helplessly laughing at the spectacle.

I failed to see the humor in the situation, however. I fought against the panic that was rising within me. Suddenly my fear turned to hot anger.

“GET THIS %@#*!@ ANIMAL OFF ME NOW!!!” I yelled.

“Oh, he’s all right,” Roger chided.

“He might be, but I am not. Get him off me. Do it now,” I hissed through clenched teeth.

Their laughter continued a little longer. After more ridicule, Roger finally stepped in and pried the beast off my head.

“We will not be bringing that creature to our home. He’s not safe.”

The two of them teased and cajoled, but I would not relent.

A few weeks later we learned that the “sweet little darlin’ ” tore into Roger’s wheelchair-bound father-in-law. Bandit badly ripped up the elderly man’s leg, which required numerous stitches. I don’t know what happened to Bandit, but I know he’d worn out his welcome there.

(Now, what kind of Bible application can she possibly draw from this story?  you may ask. You know I’m gonna do it! ;))

There is a tragic story in 2 Samuel 13 about one of David’s sons, Amnon. He became enthralled with his half-sister, Tamar, to the point of losing weight over the matter.

In verse 3 of chapter 13, we read these words:

“But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab… Now Jonadab was a very crafty man.”

Some friend he turned out to be. Instead of confronting Amnon and pointing out his sick thoughts, this crafty man helped him devise a plan so Amnon could rape Tamar.

The rest of the story is a sad one, indeed. Tamar was raped. Her father, David, did nothing about it – which caused enmity between him and Tamar’s brother, Absalom. Amnon was killed by Absalom, the kingdom was compromised, and David had to run for his life again. Tamar lived the rest of her life in shame…for being a victim; and in the end Absalom also died.

The lesson in the story of Bandit is this: Choose your friends carefully, and weigh all advice against the Word of truth.

In my case, I didn’t care for Roger…didn’t really trust him.

I had a “check” in my spirit, but ignored it.

I allowed the “lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life” get the better of me: I wanted the pleasure of holding the raccoon, of “owning” him, and the bragging rights I’d have if I had him.

Had I stood firm in what I believed was the right decision and ignored the advice of two untrustworthy people (which character trait they both displayed when they failed to come to my aid), I would not have found myself fending off a fairly-wild animal.

In my case, it could have been my children who were injured.

Ours could have been a tragic story as well…not on the same level as Tamar’s, to be sure, but it could have ended badly.

I fell for peer pressure and the desire to gain attention by owning something that was not meant to be possessed…

…and had to fight to get a raccoon’s finger out of my nose!




16 responses

13 07 2013
Heidi Viars

What a story … I was getting crabby at those guys myself … wasn’t sure how you were going to make a devo out of it … but you did! … how could I doubt you???

13 07 2013



13 07 2013

Love it! : )

13 07 2013



13 07 2013
Toni Sprandel

Loved this! Hope your nose is ok!

13 07 2013

Fortunately he didn’t do any damage!


13 07 2013

Oh my word! I was totally wrapped up in the story wondering what Bandit was going to do and hoping he didn’t hurt you! Yikes! So glad you decided NOT to get him. Great lesson: Never try to possess anything that you were not meant to possess. 🙂 Stick to nice pets like dogs and cats. Well, not cats. I personally think they’re evil. But that’s just because of a bad experience with a cat when I was really young. 😉

13 07 2013

Why would anybody in their right mind want a raccoon as a pet!!??? We spent quite a lot of money getting rid of the one who took up residence in our chimney and paid the rent in fleas, etc., etc.

Glad your episode turned out as well as it did, and that there was no real damage.

13 07 2013

To be honest, I was not in my right mind at that time. I have dozens of stories to tell to demonstrate that fact!

I was fortunate that I didn’t have the same reaction from the blasted thing as the elderly gentleman…and all over my face. He was working up to that.

Have a blessed day, kind brother!


13 07 2013

As always, what an effective application! I felt the tension especially when the boys were laughing past the boundary line. I hate when that happens. SO glad you stood your ground (after a taste of time w/bandit). deep sigh!

13 07 2013

Today I have little patience with those who are willing to leave me in such a predicament for their entertainment.

Thanks for your comment!


13 07 2013

First of all, thanks for making me laugh so hard I cried- I like mornings like that! But seriously, you are so right. We allow our intuition and gift of discernment to be second- guessed sometimes leaving us to look back and want to kick ourselves for not trusting that voice. Not everyone understands it but my husband and kids have learned to trust me when I get one of those “checks”. Thanks so much for sharing and have a blessed day!

13 07 2013

Laughter is great. I love posts that make me laugh.

That “check” thing took a while for us to trust as well. It’s become a vital component of decisions for me…
No peace…No way!!!!


13 07 2013
Pure Glory

You had me in laughter but what a lesson! Going for pleasing man with a pet or possession doesn’t satisfy. Pleasing God and listening to his voice makes all the difference in the world. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

13 07 2013

Man-pleasing would probably have been a better choice for application…but I have thousands of other stories I can use for that one! I’m glad Jesus has nearly set me free from that one!

Glad I could make you laugh!


13 07 2013
Pure Glory


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