Yesterday’s Dung is Today’s Fertilizer

14 06 2013

Through clenched teeth I said, “You’ll pay for that. I will get even. You’re going to be sorry you were ever born.

It wasn’t the first time, and wouldn’t be the last, that I made vows like these.

Of course, as with most fights, “kiss and make up” follows. That makes everything better, right?

Sometimes.

Sometimes not.

The thought, I will get even, can linger long after things are supposedly patched up.

The question we never bother to ask is, “How?”

What could possibly be done to repay the “debt” accrued to the offender’s account?

But I want an apology. I want to see them grovel, and beg for forgiveness.

And if they did?

Would their apology make time roll back? Erase words spoken in a fit of anger? Undo abuse, rape, infidelity?

Okay, now that you’ve said you’re sorry it never happened.”

Don’t you wish life worked that way?

That which has been done cannot be undone. Why don’t we understand this? (Me most of all!)

Now what?

We’re left with a decision to make.

1) We can carry resentment and unforgiveness – which will lead to bitterness that will eat us alive physically, taint every aspect of our life, and defile every person we come into contact with.

(Meanwhile, the offender has forgotten the incident and is going on with their happy little life…and we? We remain enslaved to him or her for the rest of our life.)

or

2) We can do the hard work of extending forgiveness. Place the matter into the Lord’s hands and actually trust that He will make this right in His time and in His way.

(Free to live life in the present, not chained to the past.)

Oh, do I ever know that this is not an easy thing of which I speak. Most of my life I’ve had, not just one offender, but a whole busload of them to pack around on my back. Some of the things they’ve done are vile and cruel…punishable by law. Yet, they walk freely through life without giving their actions a second thought.

Everything in me screams in protest when I consider letting go of their offenses. No one else is going to make them pay, how can I possibly release them?

Want to know how that’s going for me?

Hmm. I’m imprisoned…

…and they’re enjoying life. Most of them haven’t given me a thought in years…decades even.

{In other words, not very well!}

I saw this saying the other day, and it deeply resonated with me:

Don’t let the past

and useless details

choke your existence.

Note that it does not say, insignificant. The atrocities were certainly not insignificant. They were evil and caused deep wounds.

However, they have also served to shape us into the people we are today. They’ve done their work. We don’t need them anymore. They are useless.

As I travel “Blogtopia,” I find people in various states of repair. Some are stuck in the past, but many have grown strong as a result of their history. Their amazing ministries sprang up from the garbage heap of yesterday. All the “crap” they lived through serves as fertilizer for their verdant growth: far-reaching tendrils, and bountiful fruit.

If we are “new creatures in Christ,” the day we were born again we became dead to what took place before – if we want to be. We can rise up from the grave of baptism with a brand new life. Our genesis need not be tinged with the fiery red of hatred, the deep purple of resentment, or the black of bitterness and unforgiveness.

We, of all people, can live in light and love.

For once we became children of God, every evil in our past fell away – a useless detail. History need not have the power to control us ever again – if we want it that way.

Rebirth does not erase the abuses, the offenses, the sins committed against us…

…but God…

Mmm

…but God comes with healing in His wings. What they meant for evil, God means for good. The Bible is replete with examples of this…

…and He does not change.

Why let the past, which we cannot alter, determine how we will live our “todays?”

Let go of the useless details and reach out to a world that desperately needs to know that Jesus can take yesterday’s dung and turn it into today’s fertilizer!

(Thank you for reading my ramble. These are brand-new thoughts rattling around in my head. I sense the fresh wind of freedom in them…just haven’t quite grasped the truth of this for myself.)

\o/

Praise Jesus!

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22 responses

18 06 2013
annabachinsky

“Why let the past, which we cannot alter, determine how we will live our “todays?” Amen!!! What a great analogy about the fertilizer. I’ll remember that next time I’m going through a not-so-amazing situation! 🙂

18 06 2013
lessonsbyheart

Yeah, the idea kind of got “dumped” on me as I wrote. 🙂

I’m so sick of trying to get people to take back the things they’ve said and done. It was hard to realize that there aren’t enough words/actions to undo what’s been done. Praise Jesus who gives us back the years the locusts have eaten! 🙂

\o/

18 06 2013
annabachinsky

Yes! We can’t redeem our past but God can use them as stepping stones for our future! 🙂

16 06 2013
jesuslikespizza

What an amazing God!
Too many of us struggle with the irreversible but forgivable past.

16 06 2013
lessonsbyheart

He is so wonderful. He makes my heart sing!

\o/

15 06 2013
Pure Glory

Forgiveness is hard as is letting go. I”m still in the process. Forgiveness, however, does more for ourselves than for the offender. Poison that causes.disease is released.

15 06 2013
lessonsbyheart

The disease/ illness factor I’m well acquainted with. I ended up in the hospital with Severe Bone Marrow Suppression due to extreme bitterness when I was 19. With forgiveness came healing.

It is so hard to let go, though. 😦

15 06 2013
Pure Glory

Yes, it is. Rehearsing the past, often keeps us from our God blessings. We keep the old hurts alive due to inner vows we made as a child. I believed the lies spoken by a parent, repeated them to myself and set up an altar that got in the way of my fully worshipping Yahweh. The inner vow had to be renounced and shattered replaced by God’s truth about who I am. While I hold on to the past, I can’t receive the blessings God has for me today. My arms are full and I am worshipping at the wrong altar. Releasing, letting go and moving into the new is hard, but so rewarding. I release it to Christ the forgiver who lives inside of me. He forgives and cleanses in the river of living water that comes out of me.

15 06 2013
lessonsbyheart

Mmm hmm. I’ve renounced and replaced tons of lies. From time to time ones that were missed come to light and are dealt with. It makes such a difference in how we live our lives, doesn’t it?

\o/

15 06 2013
Pure Glory

Amen!

14 06 2013
vonhonnauldt

You may have forgiven these offenses, and rightly so, but the perpetrators haven’t gotten away with them. God remembers, and He will abundantly repay.

14 06 2013
lessonsbyheart

For some it’s been a very long process. Others are still a work in progress. I’ll be thankful when I fully trust the Lord and let go.

\o/

14 06 2013
dianarasmussen

You have the best titles Tami, I love your sense of humor!

14 06 2013
lessonsbyheart

I’ve learned that no one reads if I use a plain title…whatever it takes! 😉

\o/

14 06 2013
lessonsbyheart

I learned how to title things from a friend of ours – Jake. He puts a fun spin on any subject. I try to imagine how he would approach the topic and name it accordingly. It seems to be working.

(yes, I know this is my second response…just wanted to give credit where credit is due!)

\o/

14 06 2013
melanie jean juneau

love the title

14 06 2013
lessonsbyheart

I’m not surprised! How I wish I could spend a week on a ranch smelling all the “lovely” farm scents, listen to the animals’ sounds, and lay in a meadow of clover. We’re not “city-city” but still in a large town. I don’t know anyone with that type of setting or I’d be stopping by for a visit!

May your weekend be one of peace, love, and joy, dear sister!

\o/

14 06 2013
melanie jean juneau

and blessings to you and yours

14 06 2013
Larry Who

Great post. I always believe that forgiving someone releases the power of God into two lives: mine and the other person’s.

14 06 2013
lessonsbyheart

Yes, it sure does. This is a tough one for me. There are still a few who “owe” me…and I want them to pay to the last farthing. 😦 Letting go and trusting God with the matter is so stinking hard.

Thanks for your comment.
\o/

14 06 2013
Toni Sprandel

Wow, this is all so true. I see it everyday in our granddaughter’s life. The anger she continues to hold onto is causing her to become bitter. I continue to encourage her to forgive and then she can move on but she just won’t let go. Thank you for sharing this.

14 06 2013
lessonsbyheart

🙂

\o/

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