Now Why Would I Agree With That?

31 05 2013

An agreement quickly entered into during times of mental anguish can lead to years of grief. I made countless agreements of this sort when I was too young to understand the mistake I was making.

Thankfully, we have a Lord who loves us enough to expose these agreements and set us free from them.

Several years ago I read, The Shack. People either love it or hate it. I happen to be in the category of the “loved it” crowd. I’m not here to either promote or refute it, but will say that God used this book to show me thirteen agreements I made as a child to never let anyone close enough to hurt me again. As a result, I was 45 years old and unable to make any friends. I couldn’t understand why.

Awakening me for a midnight visit, the Lord instructed me to get my journal and begin to write, using The Shack as a springboard into my own woundedness. (He uses journaling through various kinds of books to help me sort out what’s in my head.)

My own “Great Sadness,” began when I was one and a half years old. Starting there, the Lord walked me through countless events and wounds. He hit “pause” when we got to my 5th grade period of my life.

At that time, my parents were preparing to move to a new town for the 14th or 15th time, and I was very upset. I really liked my school and my teacher. Starting over – again – was not something I wanted to do.

During my last week at that school, my teacher brought in an album by Simon and Garfunkel. One of the songs he played for us was, I Am A Rock. Resonating with the lyrics, I immediately adopted it as the theme for my life.

If you know the words, you know some of the agreements I made: I’ll build walls – a deep and mighty fortress that no one can penetrate. I’ll use my books and [music] to protect me. I’ll hide in my room. I will touch no one. I will let no one touch me. I will be a rock. I will be an island. I don’t ever want to feel pain again. I don’t ever want to cry again. Heavy stuff for a ten-year-old!

God used The Shack to expose the agreements I made with the enemy that painful year, and lived from ever since. I renounced them, and made an altar to the Lord. I made a new agreement with Him:  I would risk pain and heartache, I would risk rejection again. Within months, I had more friends than I had time for.

Many years later, I still have relationships with nearly everyone of them. Sure, I get hurt sometimes, but I am no longer lonely.

I’m still prone to say things like, “That’s it! I’m not going to be nice to people anymore;” “I’ll never let them hurt me again;” or “I’ll never let myself get that involved again.” (Here’s one of my personal favorites: “I’ll get so big that I’ll become invisible and no one will want to be around me anymore – then they’ll leave me alone.”)

Of a different variety are these: “You’re right, I am stupid;”… or ugly, or clumsy, or unlovable – or [fill in the blank].

These agreements are, in reality, with our adversary. There is a power in our words that we don’t comprehend, but he does. When we are most vulnerable, he whispers these things to us. We accept his lies as truth, which keep us beaten down and lead us away from trust in the goodness and sovereignty of God.

In every instance where I’ve discovered an unholy agreement and renounced it, my life has changed for the better; and every time I’ve made a replacement agreement with the Lord, the same has been true.

The Bible says that we are transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2). I frequently ask the Lord to reveal unholy agreements I’ve made. Once He reveals them and I renounce them, then replace them with truth, my mind does indeed become transformed. Bit by bit, I walk in greater freedom.

Thank You, Lord!

What “unholy” agreements have you made? Like me, has the enemy fed you lies that affect your life adversely?

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22 responses

2 06 2013
Toni Sprandel

I remember the song and singing the chorus, but it just never clicked with me. I am so grateful the LORD was able to give you a new song in your heart! He is so good to us! I just love Him more and more each day!!

3 06 2013
lessonsbyheart

He is indeed good!

\o/

2 06 2013
tinafriesen

I enjoyed The Shack too, because it allowed us to explore the possibility that there is more to God than we have thought.

2 06 2013
lessonsbyheart

It certainly stretched me – in a very good way. God used “Papa” to sneak in past my “No Fathers Beyond This Point” sign that guarded my mind and win me over completely!

1 06 2013
Ann

That’s so funny…I remember that song. I would sing along with it. I really liked Simon & Garfunkel 🙂 What’s not funny is that as I reread those words and the tune in my head I realized how much I had done that. I am still in process as far as that goes. The lyrics say “I am a rock. I am an island”. That is how I feel so often. Much to pray about. Thanks for the post. Do you remember the “59th Street Bridge Song”? Populary known as “Feelin’ Groovy”. Maybe I’ll remember that one instead 🙂

1 06 2013
lessonsbyheart

Oh, yes! I love “Feelin’ Groovy.” I need to learn the lyrics to it, though. I can sing along with the chorus, but don’t remember the verses. That would be a great alternative.

Another one is “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.”

Thanks for your comment. Have a blessed weekend!
\o/

1 06 2013
Ann

Enjoy 🙂

1 06 2013
lessonsbyheart

Thanks! You’re the best. 😉

\o/

1 06 2013
lessonsbyheart

I didn’t realize that Simon and Garfunkel recorded this song. That makes it perfect – and so like God to replace a song by them that did so much damage to me with another of their songs that will bring life.

Thank you so much for taking the time to share this with me. It means far more than you will ever know. I am fighting back tears as I type. What a gift this is…completing the healing God desires in this area.

Big hugs for you – this got you an extra reward in heaven, no doubt.

Totally wrecked (in a good way) –
Tami
\o/

1 06 2013
Ann

It was my pleasure 🙂 In finding that I ended up on my own little “bunny trail” that took me all the way back to a song from 1967! (I was only 7) but my family (well, one in particular) said I was wrong about who did a certain song and in her “has to be right” way let me know that if I am going to share my memories they should be right. Am so glad to know my memory was correct and had so many fun “song” stops along the way! And they were the good lyrics kind! Blessings to you! Isn’t it interesting that one simple sentence (even a part of one) can be used by God in such a special way to bring healing to two of His girls 🙂 Simon & Garfunkel – who’d have thought!

1 06 2013
lessonsbyheart

Thanks – there go the waterworks again! 🙂

God is good.

\o/

31 05 2013
vonhonnauldt

When I was 21, I figured that I’d had about 40 addresses. Not as bad as the lady above who moved 60 times. Still…. Once we moved just one block! Got real good at packing! Bad at social things. Never got a chance to put down roots – never really learned how, though I’ve been married by the grace of God for 42 years. (I guess that counts as “roots.” 🙂 )

Thanks for the post, and your friendship through your blog and mine. It means a lot to me. God’s best to you!

31 05 2013
lessonsbyheart

Forty-two years! Wow, that’s wonderful. God’s been good to you.

I appreciate your friendship as well. It’s nice to have someone to “sort things out with.”

Have a wonder-filled weekend. 🙂
\o/

31 05 2013
vonhonnauldt

Thanks. You, too!

31 05 2013
robbyefaye

Wow! I liked this, reminded me of my life-we moved over sixty (not a typo!) times by the time I was 18 and we we NOT military. I seriously thought we were gypsies when I was real little!
Thanks for the blog and how you were able to let go of your “rock” mentality. I was in my late thirty’s when I started to thaw; I still have a long ways to go.

31 05 2013
lessonsbyheart

Welcome to LBH. Sixty moves – eek! I have a long way to go yet, as well. I’m so thankful that God doesn’t set us down until He’s finished the work He’s begun in us. 🙂
\o/

31 05 2013
Larry Who

My teenage and college years were the 1960’s. The Vietnam War, the music, the radicalism all worked on me until I no longer even liked America. One day in the 1990’s, the Lord showed me how much I disliked America. He told me He couldn’t use me if I didn’t even like the nation I lived in. I repented and He filled me with a love for America.

Great message today. God bless you.

31 05 2013
lessonsbyheart

Wow, that’s amazing. So glad you listened to Jesus. Otherwise, we’d be missing out!

Thanks!
\o/

31 05 2013
Chris Hendrix

Thanks for being honest in your writing. Facing our past and making the necessary changes going forward requires honesty and courage. Renewing our mind as you mentioned is the key to overcoming.

31 05 2013
lessonsbyheart

Thanks for stopping by! I appreciate your comments.
\o/

31 05 2013
thesanctuaryofmyheart

Thank you for sharing this. Blessings to you!

31 05 2013
lessonsbyheart

🙂
\o/

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